Greetings,
I have decided to have this blog so that there could be a place a bit less formal than the Naga Center website in which to post my thoughts, essays, recommendations, news updates and whatever else might come to mind.
I am beginning by posting a couple of articles I have written that relate to Thai massage.
Cheers and enjoy,
-Nephyr
I began my study of massage 17 years ago, when I was 21 years old. My first love was Swedish deep tissue and I quickly became adept at the art of penetrating down into the knots of flesh and stress. For the first handful of years, being young and indestructible, I paid little if any attention to my own body mechanics. But when my hands began to ache, I took notice and began to take care. I paid attention to my stance, leverage and angles. I employed my elbows and forearms. I applied to my wrists a procession of ice packs, hot packs, moxa, liniments and oils. But no matter how good my body mechanics, no matter what I smeared on my wrists, no matter how I visualized peace in my carpal tunnels, the pain worsened. Eventually it was so bad my screaming wrists would wake me up in the middle of the night to sob, yes for the pain, but more for the grief of an injured body and the paradox of how healing can hurt the healer.
And then came Thai massage. My first trainings in it did nothing to help my wrists, and to be honest I did not expect it to. But as I continued down the path of this ancient modality I found a teacher, a master, for whom the healing of the practitioner is of utmost importance. In broken smiling english he reprimands his students for only giving and “doing” without being themselves taken care of. He shows us new ways to work, using our feet, knees, arms and even hands to heal without hurting ourselves. He laughs as he demonstrates techniques that work deeper than anything I have ever seen before, yet are effortless, truly effortless for the therapist. “Work?” he says, “what work”? Again laughing.
Back on my home side of the planet, I have found that in my private massage practice I can do Thai massage as much as I want without pain. But it goes beyond this. I actually find that Thai massage is healing for the therapist. On those days when I am tired, my immune system fighting something, those days when I just don’t want to go to work, I find that in doing Thai massage I do not have to push myself so hard as I feared to make it through. And more, I find at the end of the session, most times, I feel better than when I started. There is a healing quality to the focused nature of the modality. Doing Thai massage has a nature that is similar to doing Tai Chi, or yoga, or meditation. It becomes a practice in the way of those other physical spiritual practices. And like them, it takes us inward to a peaceful place of well being.
These days I rarely do more than one Swedish massage session in a month. When I do, I immediately feel the shadows of old pain in my wrists. Even though about 40% of my work on the table is now made of Thai techniques, and despite a continued attention to body mechanics, I find the table unforgiving. A friend who is an excellent massage therapist herself, recently asked me if I would work on her hurt leg while I was visiting. Then seeing how tired I was she said “no, you should not work on me”. I assured her that it was no problem to which she replied “oh that’s right, massage is easy the way you work”. Work? What work? Again laughing.
Thai massage is the most comprehensive bodywork modality that I know of. In it’s full glory it encompasses elements of acupressure, bone setting*, structural integration, herbalism, energy work, deep compression, myofascial release and spiritual healing. But of all the ingredients that make up Thai massage, it is the intensive stretching that captivates the western audience. So much so that we give it new names to reflect our love of the stretches. So much so that many if not most western practitioners of Thai massage do not even know all of the other ingredients.
Thai massage, with it’s beautiful and complex stretches is frequently referred to as “Thai yoga massage” or “the lazy man’s yoga”. These names however, are a misnomer that limits a multifaceted art form to just one of it’s many component parts. It is understandable of course that westerners would fall so in love, be so enthralled with the dramatic and dynamic stretches of Thai massage as to fail to truly notice the subtler yet often more penetrating aspects of the modality. Who can blame us for calling it “yoga”, when we have, in our passion, stripped it down to this one stunning part. Understandable, yet incorrect.
I would remind the western world that Thai massage pared down to little more than intensive stretching is a small and naked thing when held next to all of it’s glorious potential. And of course, “yoga” is an Indian creation, and Thai massage is, well, Thai. It even has a Thai name, “nuad boran”, which translates as “traditional massage”. Not, one might notice, “traditional stretching” or “traditional yoga”. In respect for Thailand, calling it either Thai massage, or nuad boran, seems less the cultural theft.
I know there are those who have stated that the stretching in Thai massage stems from India, and that the theory behind traditional Thai medicine is in actuality ayurvedic. However it is the argument of my teachers in Thailand that in fact the hunan body only stretches in so many ways and that regardless of your geography, work with stretching will result in positions that look the same the world over. The stretches in Thai massage, I am told, have been in the region of Thailand pre-dating Indian influence. Unfortunately, this comes from an oral history not likely to be discovered by westerners who do not speak Thai. Which of course, makes up the bulk of those writing about the subject.
As for the idea that Thai medical theory is in truth ayurvedic theory with a Thai veneer, I am taught that medicine goes with the land and that the medicine of Thailand is strongly rooted there. Evidence shows us that there were hospitals in the region one thousand years ago and common sense tells us that by the time one finds a hospital, there must be a long history of medical practice leading up to it’s creation. Work with an elder Thai massage master from outside the modern city limits and you will see an ancient art that is clearly connected to the dust of the bones of the local ancestors and not merely an import from a distant neighbor.
Then again, it would be false to deny the similarities between Thai and Indian medical theory. They are not complete, but they do exist. Thai medicine is not ayurveda, but the two do share common blood. Not siblings, but more like distant cousins, or half siblings. The beginnings of traditional Thai medicine pre-date ayurvedic medicine it is true, but that is not to say that there is no connection. It’s just an older connection, with the blood lines mingling when Indian medical theory was in a pre-ayurvedic state. Whatever marriage took place brought with it the genes of it’s own country, and the offspring, while now related to one another, grew into different beings. The resulting medical practice in Thailand is then, strongly based in traditional medicine from the region, yet does carry in it some traits from it’s Indian blood. But just as I would not call you by the name of your third cousin, I will not call traditional Thai medicine “ayurveda”, and I will not call Thai massage, “yoga” or any derivative thereof.
My hope is that in encouraging people to use the correct name for the modality, they will begin to see it in a more holistic sense and not focus purely on the stretches, which limits not only the scope of healing possible, but also the range of people capable of receiving Thai bodywork. I frequently work with clients who do not need, or cannot have dramatic stretches. Some of my most exciting and therapeutic sessions have not included a single noticeable stretch while other times they are the primary focus. One of the things that I love the most about Thai massage is how incredibly well rounded and multi-faceted it is. The toolbox inherent in it never ceases to amaze me. As a teacher of it, I strive to help my students to see the seemingly endless path of study and practice that Thai massage offers while at the same time giving respect always to the country of origin. I don’t wish to “Indianize” it any more than I would wish to “Westernize” it. Thailand is a thick deep rich country and it is enough for me to know that this is where this modality that I love so much comes from.
* bone setting refers to what westerners call chiropractic. It is a traditional medical skill practiced in many cultures. Of course, it’s use in Thai massage in the U.S. is subject to state laws.
The following essay was originally published in the Shivago Journal, published by Tao Mountain, in 2006. It was recently re-published by Massage Magazine. However, Massage Magazine edited the essay to such an extent as to render the thesis of the essay into the direct opposite of my intention. This error extended even to changing the title of the piece from "Authenticity" to "An Ever Evolving Patchwork". The thoughts presented below on the evolution of Thai massage were intended to lead the reader to my final conclusion that non-Thai practitioners of Thai massage should leave the evolution of Thai massage to the Thai people. This section of the essay was omitted in the version printed in Massage Magazine, which left the essay appearing to support the idea that it is proper for us to mutate Thai massage as we see fit. I was deeply saddened to see this drastically edited version in print as I have always maintained that it is very important to stay true to Thailand, honoring where this art comes from and not presuming to altar it while still calling it "Thai". As Thai massage becomes ever more popular in the West it is being "westernized" at an alarming speed and it is becoming harder and harder to find Thai massage that truly reflects it's roots.
Authenticity
By Nephyr Jacobsen
The old man from the Village must be somewhere in his late eighties. He is made of seventy-two thousand wrinkles. After the bowing, the offerings and the request, I become the first western student he has ever accepted. His massage style is rough and loving at the same time. He says things like “this cures paralysis”, as his knee goes through my leg into the mat below. This through the interpreter, direct communication is saved for smiles and nods and pained yelps. He tells me that you must be very brave to heal people because to heal people you must hurt them. I begin to understand something about my own limitations as a healer.
I ask him, “are you working with the sen* lines?” He does not understand. I say, “sen kalathari, sen ittha, sen sumana...” He grunts, smiles, says “this is much older than all that”. As if I had just asked Mozart if he was influenced by Madonna. Those new fangled sen lines.
I watch the old man work on my husband. He uses his feet a lot. They are the most beautiful feet I have ever seen. They are strong and ancient and know the earth. I photograph his feet, always amazed at how the Thai welcome cameras into the sacred. My husband’s forehead is an expression of pain. The old man laughs and keeps working. I’m thinking about the differences in what I am learning, and what I have been previously taught about Thai massage. I’m thinking about the words “this is much older than all of that”, and suddenly I understand the difference between the rural and royal traditions of Thai massage. For the first time it makes sense in a tangible way that isn’t made out of academic words. And as I begin to comprehend this difference I can see the thread between my different teachers, where one leads to the other. Where some have stuck to the refined “royal” tradition, where others have gone back and brought the village into their work. Watching this old man twist and knead and press into my husband, I understand all of my other teachers better. I understand roots.
I think about how we like to throw around the word “authentic”. We are practicing “authentic” Thai massage. We are preserving “authentic” Thai massage. That person over there, is not teaching “authentically”. In Thailand, it is harder to be so clear about what is, and what is not “authentic”. What I am seeing in the old man from the village, is about as authentic as it gets. And yet, if you look at Thai culture, you see that one of the most authentically Thai things, is change. Thai people have this amazing abiilty to take things from other cultures, embrace them, and set them forth again as something new, something Thai.
Today on the streets of Chiang Mai one sees Thai people getting foot massages by the hundreds. On every block there is some place where you can get a “Thai foot massage”. One would think that foot massage has always been integral to Thai culture, yet my “Thai foot massage” teacher at the Old Medicine Hospital says to me “foot massage been here about 15 years. Comes from China and Taiwan”. But it isn’t exactly what came from China and Taiwan. Already it has been embraced and set forth anew. And already it is being sold as “authentic Thai”.
I have been fortunate to have Thai massages from some of the masters in Thailand. They all work differently. Not only do they have their own style, but they don’t even agree on where the sen lines are. One of them travels regularly to China, Tibet, pilgrimages of learning. He brings back what he learns and incorporates it into his work. If I mix Chinese techniques into my Thai massage I am no longer doing “authentic Thai massage”, but this is not the case with a master in Thailand. He is not diluting the pure tradition, he is maintaining the pure tradition. For it is, a tradition of change.
Stepping for a moment outside of the legend of 2500 years and Doctor Jivakakomarpaj, we can see that a historical look at Thai massage shows an evolving tradition, a patchwork of modalities, with an Indian backcloth. In true Thai form, the pieces of material were taken from here and there, embraced and set forth again as something new, something Thai. If this evolution did indeed begin 2500 years ago, it is important to realize that it didn’t stop there. And it didn’t stop in the 10th century with the development of yoga and nadis. The evolution of Thai massage continues to this day. All over Thailand, at this very moment, people are trying new things, changing, and embellishing their massage style. The masters of the craft are not masters through stagnation. They are masters because they have not only practiced for twenty or sixty years, but they have also learned for that long. They continue to learn, to change, to grow. Authentic Thai massage continues to learn, to change, to grow.
But what of the old man from the village, who is not interested in sen lines? How is he evolving Thai massage? And what about the western people who make stuff up like “Thai for the table”? Does this mean that we can call that “authentic”?
The old man’s style does evolve. It just doesn’t evolve into sen lines. It evolves in a path that is more directly connected to the people it came from, with less influence from the standardized systems of Wat Pho. And in a way, “Thai for the table” is a part of the living tradition of Thai massage, but I cannot call it “authentic”. It is not wrong, but I think that we should leave the evolution of “authentic Thai massage” to the Thai people. My opinion, that’s all. And while I believe that we should not teach things like “Thai for the table” under the label of “authentic”, I think it is important not to get bogged down in thinking there is any one way to do Thai massage.
At the end of the day the old man from the village gives me back one of the flower garlands that I gave him. He places it around my neck and he tells me that he loves me. He tells me that once someone agrees to be your teacher, they are forever your teacher. Even if you never see them again. He says that he is my teacher always, and that when he dies, he will protect me, because he is my teacher. I think he knows that I will not see him again on this journey. And we both know, that he may not be alive the next time I come to Thailand. I leave him, and take my gifts. A flower garland, a few new massage techniques, and a tiny new spark of understanding of the place from which this art comes. I look at that little spark from time to time and blow gently on it to keep it from going out. There is still so much more for me to learn. The thoughts I am having about roots and authenticity are new and not fully formed. They are like knowing ten sen lines out of seventy-two thousand.
I’ve done deep tissue Swedish massage for 17 years. I mean really deep, no fluff and buff stuff here. But it doesn’t come close to Thai massage. Nothing I’ve seen does. It’s yoga and Rolfing® and acupressure and tapotment and chiropractics and Reiki and deep compression work and myofacial release and hydrotherapy with herbs and the power of spirit, all rolled into one. And I swear I’m not even hitting on all of it here. At the same time, it’s none of those things. Because those aren’t Thai and the truth is, Thai massage really is Thai. It’s not a new brand of Ayurvedic medicine or a twist on Chinese meridians, it’s seriously Thai, and it’s serious medicine.
And here in the United States you can practice it after watching a do it yourself video. Or taking a two-day workshop. Or reading a book. Or none of the above. And you can teach it after going to Thailand and taking a five-week course, or a two-week course, or a one-week course, never having actually had a working practice of it in your life. And people do. So long as you meet the regulatory professional massage laws of your state (which are all written with Swedish massage in mind) you can practice and teach Thai massage without a day of training if you so choose. And in some states you don’t even have to be a licensed massage therapist because you can claim that this extremely physically intensive bodywork modality is technically energy work. You can twist people’s bodies into a rat’s-nest tangle, walk on them with full body weight, and perform spinal swings that were originated with bone setters, and in a few states you don’t have to be able name a single muscle or know the location of your kidneys.
Yeah, I know, it’s crazy. But the truth is, there is no regulation of Thai massage outside of the Swedish massage laws, in the United States. And the thing is, I’m not even sure if I think there should be. Regulation is a sticky subject, and with Thai massage, it gets complicated very quickly.
At this time, the majority of states have some sort of regulatory agency that establishes the specific requirements to practice bodywork professionally and governs all massage modalities. On the other hand, a few states have no massage oversight at all, and little to no requirements concerning practice. In those states with explicit oversight, all massage modalities are grouped together and have the same requirements. There are no specific laws for specific modalities. In general, schools wanting to help aspiring massage practitioners reach their state requirements primarily teach Swedish massage. They may have a Thai massage continuing education class, but these classes rarely go beyond an introduction to the modality. There are no exceptions made for those who have studied Thai massage in Thailand, they must still attend a massage training program here in the States and jump through any and all hoops required by the state they wish to practice in. This means that once you are a licensed massage therapist (in some states, “massage practitioner”, or “massage technician”) you can practice massage professionally. Any modality. Regardless of if you have been trained in that modality. In sum, all modalities are grouped together for licensure, and most schools require only that you learn Swedish massage techniques – anything else is optional, if it’s even offered.
With Thai massage in a period of global discovery, Thai massage organizations are increasing in numbers around the world. While some of these organizations may appear to be official regulatory agencies, in truth they are privately-owned and -operated Thai massage trade organizations that may be voluntarily joined for a fee. At this time, no organization in the U.S.A. has the authority to regulate, certify, register, or accredit Thai massage practitioners, therapists, body-workers, instructors or schools specifically. So long as one meets their state massage licensure requirements, one may practice and teach Thai massage without belonging to any such organizations.
A Case for Thai Massage Regulation
Thai massage has the potential to cause injury if not done correctly. This applies both to the therapist and the receiver. In my opinion, Thai massage is a far more dangerous modality than Swedish massage could ever be. Not meaning to scare anyone off here - with proper training, it is amazingly therapeutic and is, in fact, my favorite modality; however, proper training is not required. And knowing effleurage, petrissage, cross-fiber friction and the diaper drape doesn’t prepare anyone for practicing Thai massage. That’s like saying that if you are a highly trained golfer, it follows that you are qualified to play professional basketball. It’s apples and oranges. Or maybe even, apples and pizza.
My Thai massage classes are open to anyone, professional or novice. What I have found is that those students who have been practicing massage therapists for many years, those students who are freshly graduated from massage school, and those students who have never done a day of training in massage prior to taking my class, are all on nearly equal ground. They are all beginners, because Swedish massage is nothing like Thai massage. Nothing. Only the common language of anatomy, and a comfort with touching bodies sets the Swedish massage therapists apart from the total massage beginners. When it comes to Thai techniques they are all novices.
What this means is that states that require that Thai massage practitioners be licensed massage therapists have really not done anything to protect the public safety in regards to Thai techniques. Because none of the required massage training (I’m not talking about the sciences of anatomy/physiology here) have anything to do with what you must know to practice Thai massage. It is left up to the practitioner to voluntarily seek out quality instruction. Some do, some don’t, and some try to, but end up with shoddy instruction and don’t even know it. But whatever they do, it’s voluntary, not determined by the state or any other agency.
This is why the regulation of Thai massage by a body of professional practitioners can be seen as necessary. In This case oversight must come from within the community of Thai massage practitioners, because these are the individuals who truly understand the techniques and the proper methods of training. Of course, these individuals would also have to be professional licensed massage therapists as well, in order to comply with state laws.
A Case Against Regulation
And here is where I start to sound a bit inconsistent, because you see, a part of me believes that the way one trains should be voluntary. I have always felt that massage, like herbalism and midwifery, belongs in the layman’s hands, where some of the best teachers are quietly hidden and carry no state governed credentials. I am deeply suspicious of massage regulation, with its pandering to large corporate schools and its focus on written exams for a field that involves the un-measurable ability to touch and feel with intuition and competence. In the end, you can be a very good massage therapist without knowing how to speak anatomically, and all the science training and test taking ability in the world won’t make you qualified to touch. I have had some of the best massages in my life from untrained hands, and some of the worst, from those with walls full of certificates.
Some of the most quality instruction is coming, of course, from Thailand, but how can U.S. regulatory agencies begin to know what schools and teachers and training programs on the other side of the world are legitimate and which are not? Only those within the Thai massage community have a glimmer of how to sort through this, and we are often in disagreement with one another.
Perhaps Thai therapists in the U.S. should be pressing for American regulatory agencies to recognize Thai credentials and accreditation, but we certainly should not be imposing our standards on Thai institutions.
In the world of Thai massage, regulation is nearly impossible anyhow. While schools and practitioners have begun to be regulated by the Ministries of Education and Public Health in Thailand, it remains a fact that some of the most proficient therapists in Thailand are unlicensed, unrecognized, and unofficial. Some of these practitioners are masters of hereditary methods, some live in the far-out villages where licensure is not possible.
Legends aside, Thai massage has existed in one form or another for many hundreds, if not thousands of years. It is an integral component of traditional Thai medicine, with applications far outstripping it’s general usage here in the West for relaxation. Until recently it was taught parent to child, master to apprentice. There were no schools of Thai massage, and the desire to learn did not equal the right or the opportunity to learn. A potential student would have to prove himself worthy and then dedicate years to the tutelage of a master. There were no two-week courses and there were no workbooks with step-by-step pictures (then again, there was no step-by-step sequence). There were no certificates, no licenses, no regulations. What there was, was quality masters of an ancient healing craft.
Currently in Thailand, there are new schools of Thai massage popping up in alarming numbers that promise quality instruction in 10 days, 5 days, sometimes even 3 day courses. Students learn to “heal by the numbers.” Step one, step two, step three….don’t color outside the lines. Practitioners and instructors abound, and anyone with the cash can learn Thai massage, anytime they want. There are governmental regulating agencies certifying schools and instructors. There are certificates and licenses with numbers and photographs and official seals. There are standards set in ink. There are businesses on every street advertising “traditional Thai massage,” “ancient Thai massage,” “authentic Thai massage.” What there aren’t much of, are quality masters of this ancient healing art.
The vast majority of the true masters are hard to find, harder to become a student of, and even harder to learn from. With a couple of exceptions, if you are fortunate enough to find one of these quality instructors, few will have heard of him/her, and you won’t be issued a certificate when you are done learning. (Because you’re never done learning.) This means that if we decide to regulate Thai massage separately from Swedish massage in the U.S., we will end up in a situation where those who attend the shiny schools with the big marketing budgets and the embossed certificates will be validated as worthy to practice, while someone who studies with an unknown monk in the forests of Thailand, even if they study for years, will not be recognized.
Maintaining The Status Quo
There are some who suggest that Thai massage practitioners should not have to be licensed massage therapists at all, meaning that they should not have to meet any existing state requirements in order to practice their profession. This position holds that Thai massage is not the same as other bodywork modalities, and should have either no requirements, or only those of our own regulatory agencies. They propose that we should not even call it Thai massage, suggesting instead names such as Thai Yoga Therapy or Thai Intensive Stretching. It’s as if a change in semantics will change the fact that we are “manipulating soft tissue,” the common definition of massage in most states.
While I agree that Swedish massage licensure does not qualify one to practice Thai massage, I do not think that it hurts. In fact, the scientific study of the human body cannot help but increase your knowledge for the better. And when it comes right down to it, for a profession, it’s a small hoop to jump through. After all, how many professional trades can you become licensed to practice in less than a year?
Another factor in this issue of creating regulatory agencies specifically for Thai massage, is the need to be wary of self-absorption to the point of forgetting the public who we serve. I think it is important to remember that we are not the only non-Swedish bodywork modality out there. If we think we should exist outside of the regulations of the existing massage world, then so should Rolfers®, Shiatsu practitioners, all somatic and structural integration modalities, reflexology practitioners and many others. In truth, this article could have been written with any one of these modalities in mind. It would be a nightmare for the public to try to track all these different modalities and know who to report to should there be a problem. In the state where I live, if a body-worker of any kind does something harmfully inappropriate, I can report to the massage board. I don’t have to understand what modality they practice and find the specific regulating agency. There is only one. And while it may be obvious to me how different Thai massage is from Swedish, where is the line to be drawn? Once all the different modalities begin to branch off, who is to say that Lomi Lomi practitioners, hot stone massage practitioners and Watsu® practitioners shouldn’t have their own regulation as well? Like it or not, the common perception of Thai bodywork is that it is massage, and as such, we are a part of something bigger than just Thai massage. We are a part of the greater massage community, and our actions can and will affect this community.
So how do we regulate Thai massage? How do we say whose instruction counts, when some of the best instructors in the world may be hidden in a village in Thailand (or in the vastness of Bangkok), known by only three westerners (or none)? How do we organize, when those who form the organizations are in competition with one another? How do we fit into the western massage world when the overseeing agencies know little to nothing about Thai massage? How do we protect the public and at the same time not become a place where the only form of Thai massage that exists is an homogenized step-one, step-two, step-three sequence, with no room for variance and the deeper training that is unquantifiable? I don’t have the answers to these questions. I have some thoughts for the conversation, but they are truly just thoughts. I have not set my opinions in concrete.
Here is what I think: we set the standards not by creating more regulatory agencies and attempting to separate ourselves from the rest of the massage world, but by creating classes and schools with a high bar and by being practitioners who do not balk at training. We must care enough to go the extra mile at all times. We show that we are serious enough about this to become licensed massage therapists (if that is what is required.) To all who have not yet done this, I would like to say that massage school can be fun, and learning anatomy, physiology, kinesiology and pathology is amazing. I recommend it even if you live in a state that does not require it. What if, instead of using our energies to fight the existing system and create new regulating agencies, we were to work together within the system? This could be the best of both worlds. Thai massage does not become regulated unto itself (hopefully avoiding homogenization), and by following state requirements of licensure, at least in states that have requirements, the people who can practice will by default be those who are willing to put in a little extra work. While there will never be a system that can guarantee that every practitioner is great (even with the best teachers in the world, not all students become great), at least this ups the chances that they will have a minimum of dedication and commitment.
I have heard people say that they wish Thai massage was not regulated by state agencies at all. I have heard people say that we need our own regulatory agencies, separate from the Swedish massage world. I have spent time in both camps. For a long time I wanted no regulation, period. Then I changed gears and wished we had our own. I have looked through both lenses, and agreed with what I saw. In the end, I have come to a place where I accept things the way they are. It’s not perfect, I know. But I also know that the things that bother me most about the present and likely future of Thai massage, are not actually going to be fixed by less or more regulation. They are not being fixed by the states that don’t require that Thai massage therapists be licensed in massage, and they are not being fixed in Thailand, where there is very specific government regulation of Thai massage. They are things like gaps in integrity and the need for better understanding. They are things like the tendency to call Thai medicine Ayurvedic, or Chinese because we don’t understand it enough, or respect it enough to grant it its own standing. They are things like in-fighting amongst practitioners and teachers. More importantly, they are things like the actual danger of an ancient art becoming watered down and distorted until it no longer exists in its true form. Luckily, these are things that we can change without having to restructure the system. These are things that we change through personal commitment. And I see it beginning already. It only takes a few people digging deeper, asking questions instead of purporting to know it all already, sharing what they find and always, always, always, crediting our teachers in Thailand, giving back to Thailand and being thankful to Thailand. It only takes a few people doing this to initiate the changes we need. It’s the sharing part that holds the key. As we teach our students and teach each other, we set the bar higher and encourage quality in the Thai massage community. I believe it is up to us as individuals, not laws, to keep Thai massage safe and authentic. Those who do will shine brightly, and eventually be sought out.
This is a rough draft of a booklet I am working on to help travelers journey more gracefully through Thailand. It is a work in progress, that may still have some Thai words not quite right (but close).
This booklet is offered freely in an attempt to assist in relations between Thai people and foreigners and also to give travelers better insight into Thai culture. People traveling in a new land often cause offense or insult without even knowing they are doing so, and with no ill intention. It is our sincere hope that this little booklet will help to lesson this.
This book may be copied and distributed freely, with no further permission from those who created it. We ask only this: Please do not change the content, do not use it for profit, and please give credit to the creators (Produced by The Naga Center llc, School of Traditional Thai Medicine. Authored by: Nephyr Jacobsen Thai Etiquette advisor: Wit Sukhsamran).
Contents
• What is proper dress
• Proper behavior in temples
• Eating
• Behavior when in the company of monks
• Behavior when in the company of elders
• Showing respect
• Anger and apologies
• Shopping
• Shows of friendship/affection
• And more….
Eating
Thai people eat all the time. There are no special time categories for particular foods. For instance, you can eat curry for breakfast, and pancakes for dinner. It makes no difference.
In Thailand most food is eaten with a spoon. Forks are only used as devices to get the food onto the spoon, much as western countries would use a dinner knife. Putting your fork in your mouth in Thailand, is considered incorrect. Chopsticks are really only used for eating noodles. You will be given chopsticks if you are eating a meal where they are appropriate, but do not expect them for dishes other than noodle dishes.
Eat with your right hand. If left handed, you can eat with your left hand, meaning spoon in left hand, fork in right, but it is more proper to eat with your right hand. If eating with your hands, as in, not using cutlery, always use your right hand, even if you are left handed. For example, if eating sticky rice or other hand held foods, never touch it with your left hand. Especially remember this when eating food from a communal plate.
Eating with your hands is more or less acceptable depending upon where you are. For example, in the north, people eat with their hands more, whereas in Bangkok, it’s considered more lower class to eat with your hands. It can depend also on who you are eating with, and in what context. The best bet is to watch what the Thai people around you are doing, and follow suit.
Declining Food
There is a friendly question, almost a greeting in Thailand that goes “gin khao laao reu yang”, or “gin khao yang” and translates as “have you eaten yet?”. It’s kind of like asking, “how are you?” and just like “fine” is the standard answer to “how are you”, the standard reply to “have you eaten yet”, is to say that yes you have “gin laao,” or that you are full or not hungry. The word for full in Thai is “Im”.
If you are sincerely being offered food that you do not want, or being invited to a meal that you do not wish to participate in, it is expected that you will make up an excuse. Essentially, lie – but it is a polite lie. Tell them you are not free, you have other plans, whether you do or not. It would not be considered polite to say that you are too tired, because they would think that if you really wanted to join them, you would come even if you are tired. In this case, the lie is actually a social nicety, while the truth of just not wanting to participate would be rude. This also applies to other invitations that you wish to decline, such as going to the movies, or dancing…
If you are offered food that you cannot eat due to allergies or say, spiritual/religious restrictions, it is best to just be honest. For example, if you are vegetarian and offered meat, just tell the person that you are vegetarian. In this example, you will most likely be greatly respected for this as being vegetarian is looked up to in Thailand.
Showing Respect
Waiing
A wai is the gesture of holding your hands, palms together, in prayer position as a form of greeting and respect. In fact, the word wai means respect. Wais are used throughout Asia, but vary slightly from country to country. A Thai wai is done by holding the hands at chest level, with your elbows close to your sides, then bringing your head down to meet the tops of your fingers, or your fingers up to meet your chin, nose, forehead.. . Which level of your head you bring your fingers to varies depending upon who you are waiing. Specifics of this are given a little further down.
Wais should be initiated by the younger person, or if there is an interaction between a monk and a lay person, the lay person initiates regardless of age. In an encounter that does not involve a monk, an older person will just start talking, without waiing. The younger person should initiate the wai. Some situations in which the wai may be initiated by the older person are situations of service – such as a waiter, flight attendant etc. In these cases the person in the service job, will initiate regardless of age. Sometimes Thai people will wai a westerner, just because you are a westerner – but it can also work in reverse; sometimes a Thai person will not wai a westerner because they may think that you do not know about wais.
In just about every social interaction, someone initiates a wai.
Piers – To wai your friends, piers, “equals”, your thumbs should be at the level of your chin
Elders – To wai anyone older than you, your thumbs should be at the level of your nose
Monks and statues of the Buddha– To wai a monk or a statue of the Buddha, your thumbs should be at the level of your forehead
You will notice that the more respect a person commands, the lower your head comes, and the higher your fingers. This relates back to the concept of the head being the most sacred part of your body. In effect, you are saying “my most sacred part, I lower before you”. It is like an intentional and beautiful humbling.
Anger and Apologies
There is a term in Thailand, “jai yen”, which translates as “cool heart”. Maintaining jai yen, is very important. What this means is, don’t lose your temper. Being angry, as in yelling and such, is simply not acceptable in Thailand. When a person loses their temper they lose face (really, they cause everyone involved to lose face). And that person will be looked down upon. Basically, Thai people believe that there is no reason to lose ones temper.
Western travelers often lose their tempers and become angry, but often this is based on frustration, and it causes them to be looked down upon by the Thai people. Whenever possible, it is important to try to remain calm. You can say what you think, you can be honest and clear, but do so in a restrained calm manner.
In situations of error, it is fine to point out the error, but be nice about it. For example, if you have your laundry done and it does not come back clean, just bring it back and say it’s not clean. There is no need to be angry about it. Usually the problem will be fixed if you maintain a friendly demeanor.
I’m sorry in Thai is “khortot”. If you accidentally step on someone’s foot or knock something over, this is the word to use.
Feet
In Thailand, it is considered very impolite to point your feet at anyone. Feet are considered the most base and not sacred part of the body, as well as quite potentially the dirtiest part. For these reasons it is impolite to point your feet at anyone, and extremely impolite to point your feet at the Buddha. This dates back to olden times when people walked around barefoot and therefore the bottoms of your feet would be dirty. Also, it is believed that the spirit in the head is the highest and the spirit in the feet is the lowest. For this reason, if two people are laying down, they would lay head to head, never head to feet.
Shoes are not worn inside of most businesses and homes. Even if you are told that it is okay to wear your shoes, it is best to take them off. If your feet are dirty, say from wearing sweaty sandels, go straight into the bathroom and wash them before making yourself comfortable in someone’s home.
Temples
Thai Buddhist temples are called “wats”. Wat etiquette is probably one of the most important parts of this book, as wats are probably the places where tourists cause the most and deepest offenses. The main thing to remember is that all temples, even the high profile ones that are full of tourists, are truly places of worship. They need to be respected. It is common for tourists to enter a temple talking and being big and loud. This is not respectful to the people for whom the temple is a sacred space. Even if there is no-one else in the temple, make an effort to make yourself quiet and small. A sort of humbling out of respect. You can continue your conversation once you are outside of the temple.
How to Dress for the Temple
Wearing appropriate clothing in the temple is extremely important. Always wear shirts that have sleeves. Short sleeves are okay if you are going to a regular temple, but if you are going to say, The Grand Palace, you must wear long sleeves. Tank tops are never acceptable in any temple. There must be some sleeve. Women should never wear clothing that reveals their cleavage, and both men and women should wear shorts (shorts shouldn’t really be worn by men.) or skirts that cover the knees. While shoes are not worn at all inside the temple, when walking around the temple ground it is preferable to wear closed toed shoes, although sandals and flip flops may be worn at more rural temples. Women need to also make sure that the shirt they are wearing does not expose cleavage when they bow down. Even if no one is in front of you to see it, the Buddha image is in front of you.
Taking pictures in a temple is acceptable, but be respectful about it. Remember that you are in a place of worship, it’s not a museum. Do not stand posing by the Buddha, or climbing up on things to get the picture you want. Take your pictures from a kneeling position when in a temple.
Never ever, no matter what, climb on a statue of the Buddha. This would be the height of disrespect and offense. And of course, do not point your feet at the Buddha. When sitting in a Thai temple, or in front of any Buddha image, sit such that your feet point behind you, like when you sit with your legs folded, knees forward, feet back.
When entering a temple, be careful not to step on the threshold. Step over it. To step on the threshold is considered to be offensive to the Spirit of the Building/Resident Spirit. This is an extremely important and benevolent spirit.
When inside the temple, if you need to move past others who are kneeling, do not just walk tall past them. Bow your head down as you pass. This applies outside of the temple as well, but is especially important within the temple. Always go behind people if possible rather than walk in front to get around them. It is also especially important to lower yourself when passing a monk or elders. You do not have to always actually bring your head down lower than theirs, but by ducking or bowing it down, you symbolically do.
Worship and Offerings in the Temple
If you wish to worship and make an offering in a Thai temple, here is a basic way to do it.
Generally you can acquire offerings outside the temple. Standard is three sticks of incense, one flower (generally a lotus stem) and perhaps some gold leaf. Once inside the temple you can hold your offerings while kneeling before the altar and bowing your head to the ground three times (Bow before or after you make the donations but while you’re holding them is a little awkward). Then light your incense and candle in the proper receptacles and place your flower there as well. After doing this, return to pray and bow again. All activity by the altar should be done from a kneeling position. When you are done, back up until you are away from the altar, and past other worshipers before you stand up and walk away. This is usually done in a sort of kneeling shuffle.
Donations to the Temple
All temples have a donation box. Donating is completely voluntary. There is no pressure to donate, and if you choose to donate, the amount is entirely up to you. While some people will hand their donations to a monk, monks are not really supposed to handle money. It is better to put the donation into the donation box. It is best, if possible, to put the money in an envelope. If for some reason you have to give the money to a monk, be certain it is in an envelope.
Monks
Monks in the Temple
Often times there will be a monk sitting somewhere inside the temple. He is there for the people coming to the temple. You may approach him, and even ask him questions (although he may not speak English). It is proper to approach him kneeling, and to have your hands in a wai position while talking to him. Sometimes the monks in the temple will wrap a white string around your wrist. This is called a khwan string, and it is for the purpose of holding your spirit to you. Women must be careful not to touch the monks.
Monks Out and About
Women must be careful not to touch monks, or to engage with monks in private settings for both personal and societal reasons. Since monks lead a celibate life, contact with women may be difficult. Not touching monks can be seen as a way to help them in their struggle to follow the Buddhist precepts. For some monks this is more of a struggle than others, hence some monks are more comfortable around women than others – but regardless of the individual monks seeming comfort, do not touch them, and avoid being alone with a monk. The other, more societal reason is public perception. A monk who is seen spending time with women will, essentially, look bad. Especially foreign women because people know that foreign women may not know or understand the rules and may do something like try to shake the monks hand, or give him a hug. It is fine though, in a public setting such as a temple, to talk to the monk regardless of your gender.
If you are on a crowded bus or other form of public transportation and a monk gets on, you will be expected to give him your seat if you are close at hand.
Alms and other Donations to Monks
When monks go out with their alms bowls in the morning, this is a time when people give them food. Monks do not own money, and do not purchase their own food. They are dependent upon others to give them food. While to some in the west this may look like begging, looking for a handout, the energy behind it is very different. Monks have made a decision to spend their lives in pursuit of things more important than money and ownership. In a way, by keeping the more spiritual path, they do a service to the whole community, and the community gives back in gratitude and support of this.
You can give the monks food, flowers, or even money if it is in an envelope. When giving money, you are not giving it to the monk, but to the monastery the monk belongs to. If you are a woman, you may put these things directly into the alms bowl, being careful not to touch the monk. If there is no alms bowl and you wish to give something to a monk, indicate that you are wishing to give him something and he will most likely provide a cloth for you to put it on.
Money
All Thai money, has images of the king on it. For this reason, if you drop a coin on the ground, you must not step on it with your foot, for you would be symbolically stepping on the king. Same goes for stamps. Do not crumple money up and toss it, and do not put money in your back pocket and sit on it.
Who Pays
When two or more people share, say, a meal or a taxi, the older person pays. If you are younger, you can offer to pay, but you will not be allowed to. Don’t insist, just offer once and let it go. If you are about the same age, you can try a little harder to pay, but in most cases if you are a westerner with a Thai person, the Thai person will want to pay. You can offer more than once in this case, but again, trying hard, but don’t insist in such a way that it looks like you are saying that Thai money is worthless to you. If you are older, you should just pay.
Shopping
Haggling is a bit of national pastime in Thailand. Generally the price you are given for something on the street is going to be on the high side and a little haggeling will be required to bring it down closer to its true price. This should all be done in a friendly manner. Just ask if the seller can give you a better price. There is a tendency with visitors to Thailand to get really into the haggling aspect of shopping, to the point where it can become rude and non-productive. Don’t haggle over tiny amounts of money. If something is five baht more than you think it should be, just buy it or don’t buy it. It’s not worth haggling over. But if it’s fifty baht more than you want to pay, ask if they can give you a better price. If they say no, don’t be angry or rude, just say you cannot afford it and walk away. Often when you walk away you will find a better offer follows.
Prices in high end stores, as well as places like pharmacies, 7-11s and such, are set and cannot be haggled down.
Children
If you are traveling with children, be aware that Thai people love children, and love to touch them. Especially little round eyed western kids. Western children are rare in Thailand, so they stand out as extra cute and irresistible. In a quiet setting this is fine, but when walking down the streets of Bangkok with a small child that everyone wants to touch, it can be a bit intense. If you tell people not to touch your child, this will seem rude. The best way to deal with the random stranger touch overload is just to tell people that your child is not well. “Mai Sa Bai” is the phrase to say as you shield your child from touches. This will be understood without it seeming that you don’t approve of their kind touching. Of course, if your child doesn't mind all the touching, then this is not necessary.
Showing Affection
Physical displays of affection, such as touching and hugging are not acceptable with members of the opposite sex. Women will touch women, and men will touch men, but different genders generally do not touch one another in shows of affection. Hugging is not a common show of affection even with same gender friends. More likely, Thai people will give each other a squeeze on the arm (provided they are the same gender). It is common to see same gender friends walking down the street holding hands, or arms linked, or even arms around each other. This goes for men too, and is not an indication of sexual orientation.
Clothing
Thai people dress very conservatively. Sleeveless tank tops, shorts and skirts above the knees, low cut shirts on women, all these things are not really acceptable attire in Thailand. Especially in polite situations. While it is becoming more common to see younger generation Thais wearing more revealing clothing, the transition to this being truly acceptable has not been made, so if you are attempting to be polite, dress conservatively.
It is never appropriate in Thailand to wear a bikini. Even in heavily touristed places, where you see many people wearing bathing suits, it is actually quite indecent to do so, especially if the bathing suit is a two piece suit. Thai people swim fully clothed, or at best, in a t-shirt and long shorts. This would be the skimpiest Thai swimming attire. At a more western resort, you may be able to get away with wearing a one piece bathing suit with shorts.
Thai fisherman pants and sarongs are used by Thai people mostly in the privacy of their own homes. Wearing them out and about is more of a western phenomonen.
In Thai massage classes, it is best to wear sports pants. Something long that you can move around in, like sweat pants. And don’t wear revealing shirts, as you will be bending over people.
If you decide that you are going to dress however you please, and disregard the clothing etiquette stated here, please at least take care to dress appropriately when visiting temples, or when dealing with government officials such as immigration and such.
Miscelaneous
Books should never be set on the ground because books contain knowledge, and knowledge is sacred.
Never sit on a pillow that is for your head.
Never step over things, always walk around them, especially living things such as people and animals
Do not walk under laundry, go around.
Do not touch a Thai person on the head unless you have reason to such as medical treatments, haircuts, massage etc.
The Sweet Night Namo
A Somewhat Silly Story
by Nephyr Jacobsen
Once upon a time, in the land of Plentiful, there came to be a small group of caring Plentifulians who heard tales of the healing powers of the Sweet Night Namo plant found only in the land of Cocobliss . They heard the tales from travelers who had gone to the land of Cocobliss, and had drunk the Sweet Night Namo in delicious teas, or bathed in pools of warm Sweet Night Namo steeped water. The caring Plentifulians were kind people, who longed to help others, and fortunately, they were also adventurous people, for the land of Cocobliss was far away. And so it came to pass that over the span of many years, the Plentifulians, one by one, traveled across the salty rainbow oceans to the land of Cocobliss to learn the ancient medicinae art of healing with the Sweet Night Namo.
Now the Sweet Night Namo healers of Cocobliss had long held their medical knowledge as sacred. It was information shared only with the select few who could prove to the healers their worth and dedication. Once accepted as a student, the novice healers would spend years apprenticed to their teachers, learning the ways not only of the Sweet Night Namo plant, but also of the Dark Red Soul Stone, and the Secret Quiet Moon Chants, for the Sweet Night Namo could bring healing on it’s own, but it was limited without the Dark Red Soul Stone and the Secret Quiet Moon Chants. These three medicinaes were complicated in their many uses, and it took years of supervised practice for the novice healers to become adept in their art.
It must be mentioned that the Sweet Night Namo teas and the pools of warm Sweet Night Namo water which were offered, for a nice profit, to the vacationing Plentifulians, were provided not by the true Night Namo healers of Cocobliss. They were offered by the owners of the wander lodges and by various entrepreneurial Cocoblissians who would bring the delicious teas to the beaches in baskets, telling the sun warmed Plentifulians of the healing found in the aromatic brew. But as the vacationing Plentifulians were followed to the land of Cocobliss by the kind Plentifulians who wished to learn the healing arts of the Sweet Night Namo, a small handful of the Sweet Night Namo healers were lured by the promise of Plentibucks to teach the foreigners how to use the Sweet Night Namo plant for medicinal healing.
The healers of Cocobliss were a bit confused at first by the Plentifulians because the Plentifulians only asked to be taught about how to make the delicious teas and warm Sweet Night Namo baths. They never asked about the Dark Red Soul Stone, or the Secret Quiet Moon Chants. And they never asked about the other, more complicated uses of the Sweet Night Namo. But this was okay with the healers of Cocobliss, in fact it felt to them that it was just as it should be. Because of course, they did not really want to share the entirety of their sacred medical knowledge with the strange Plentifulians. After all, it was rare to find even a Cocoblissian with whom they would really divulge their secrets. In fact, because none of the Plentifulians were fluent in the language of Coco, it would have been impossible to teach them the deeper healing arts even if they had asked. Even if a Plentifulian were to learn to speak Coco, it was unlikely that they would be able to speak in the medical terminology needed to convey the whole of ancient Cocobliss healing. Most Cocoblissians did not know the needed words, and the Cocoblissian novice healers would in fact, spend a great deal of time in their apprenticeships learning the language of healing. No, it would be impossible to truly teach the healing arts of Cocobliss to the Plentifulians.
The healers of Cocobliss were good people though, and the ones that enjoyed teaching the Plentifulians did their best to help the Plentifulians to make the most therapeutic sweet night namo teas, and the most deeply healing of Sweet Night Namo baths. The rare Plentifulians who asked deeper questions, and spent more time in the land of Cocobliss became very adept at the teas and baths, and came to feel that they had a strong understanding of them. They even felt that they could sense the best ways in which to use the teas and baths to help those in need. Eventually, these more serious students of the Sweet Night Namo began to teach it’s uses in their home land of Plentiful. They attracted small groups of wide eyed students who listened in enthusiastic attention to the lore of the Sweet Night Namo plant and the tales of the land from which it came. The Plentifulian teachers even began to write scrolls that explained how to be a Sweet Night Namo tea/bath healer. There was, however, a problem that the Plentifulians encountered when they taught and wrote their scrolls. The problem was that their audience would want to understand the Sweet Night Namo plant medicinae on a deeper level than the Plentifulians had been able to actually learn it. Since none of them spoke Coco, and none of them had actually devoted years of their lives in the single focused study of the novice healer, they did not really truly know the medical theory of the Sweet Night Namo. Many of them, in their ignorance, assumed that the Cocoblissians did not really have a very highly developed system of healing at all. They even went so far as to assume that the Cocoblissians had in fact, merely borrowed their medical knowledge from the well known medical system of the neighboring land of Nicespice.
Many scrolls had already been written about the ancient medicinae of Nicespice. And since there were indeed certain similarities and shared histories in Cocobliss medicinae and Nicespice medicinae, it was easy to think that the readily available information about medicinae in Nicespice, could be applied to the more esoteric medicinae of Cocobliss. And because the medicinae of Nicespice was relatively well known in Plentiful, it gave a certain credibility to the medicinae of Cocobliss to say that the two were really nearly almost the same. And so, with each new scroll that the Plentifulians wrote, and each new class that they taught, the myth that Cocobliss medicinae was merely a twist on Nicespice medicinae grew until it became known in the land of Plentiful as fact. The Plentifulians practiced their version of Sweet Night Namo healing, with a foundational underpinning of Nicespice medical theory, and only a vague thought given now and then to the Dark Red Soul Stone and the Secret Quiet Moon Chants. These two aspects of Cocoblissian healing were known about only in tattered threads, and were considered by the Plentifulians to be quite separate from the Sweet Night Namo healing, and perhaps, unimportant.
And so it came to be that the Plentifulians practiced and taught an incorrect and incomplete form of Sweet Night Namo healing. It was pleasant for the recipient, and indeed could be very therapeutic. It was, however, limited. Deeper and more specific healings were rarely attained, but most of the Plentifulians did not know what they were missing. Indeed, it would seem that they did not want to know. For every now and then there would come a Plentifulian who realized their error, but the others did not wish to hear of it, for they had become well known for their scrolls and curriculaes. They had reputations to protect that were based on the idea that they fully understood Cocoblissian medicinae and to question the overlapping of Nicespice theory would, well, possibly lead to very low sales in scrolls and curriculaes and would not be good for all the official organizations they had formed to support their work.
Back in the land of Cocobliss, the wise old Sweet Night Namo Healers just shook their heads in bewilderment at the antics of those strange foreign Plentifulians and went back to their business of healing with a fully developed system of medicinae that existed in it’s own right, quite different from the medicinae of Nicespice, despite their shared ancient histories.
And the Plentifulians? Did they ever learn the deeper mysteries of the Sweet Night Namo plant? Did they come to understand the connections of the Deep Red Soul Stone and the Secret Quiet Moon Chants? Did they come to see that Cocobliss medicinae was not the same as Nicespice medicinae? That my friend, is not yet known. The Plentifulians are still learning, still writing their story. But I have faith in them. They are, for the most part, people who wish to be the bearers of healing and truth. And besides, the need to understand more means more journeys to Cocobliss, and they love going to Cocobliss.
Author’s note
of course, Cocobliss is Thailand, Plentiful is the modern western world, and Nicespice is India. The Sweet Night Namo plant is Thai massage, the Dark Red Soul Stone is Thai herbalism, and the Secret Quiet Moon Chants are Thai animsim, shamanism, Buddhism. I was inspired to write this little tale by conversations with Pierce Salguero (author of many books on Thai medicine), and Wit Sukhsamran (student of T.T.M. extraordinaire) that opened the door to a room in my mind in which I stored my doubts about the validity of putting traditional Thai medicine always under the umbrella of Ayurveda and also my understanding of the degree to which western teachers of Thai massage (and the Thai schools/teachers that we learn from) are barely skimming the surface of a deep and complex medical system.
